Trial of Attrition
Thirty years psychologically wrapped María's soul in a bath of routine and wear and tear.
And the years passed on one by one. The indelible, lively and clear visitation of the angel was already fading. What remained of that memory was already a smoldering wick, like a far off echo. The Mother feels that she is being caught between the splendor of those ancient promises and the present reality which seems so unremarkable and dull. The lack of variety of the daily life of Nazareth seems engraved in its unalterable geographical horizons as if paralyzed in an informal photograph.
What was the Mother doing? During these unending hour while she was preparing the wheat, kneading the bread, bringing wood from the fields or water from the fountains, thinking about the daily tasks of the day, the angel was talking to her: “He will be great; He will be called the Son of the Most High God; His reign will be forever.”(Luke 1:32) These ancient words were majestic, but the reality before her eyes was very different: there was the child, working in a dark corner of this simple home. There He was, silent, alone, reserved...He will be great? He was not great, no! He was the same as everybody else.
Confusion began knocking incessantly at the door of her mind. Assailed by confusion, she did not stir. She remained silent, surrendering herself unconditionally, without resisting, into the listless hands of monotony, accepting it as the will of the Father. When all seemed absurd, she responded with her amen to the questionable, and the absurdity disappeared. She answered the silence of God with her fiat. The absence was transformed into presence. Instead of demanding a guarantee for what God promised, she steadfastly clung to the Divine Will, and was at peace. The doubt became an avenue of delight.
Extracted from the book “The silence of Mary” by Father Ignacio Larrañaga